Your (not so accurate but affordable) Car Shopping Guide

April 13,2019

 
 
May I initially state that this article is completely random and satirical; it does not reflect Karrenn’s professionalism and dedication to combat post-truth content and facts… But it’s Monday y’all! So social justice warriors please rest your thumbs and enjoy a good ol’ stereotypical good-for-nothing article. Here we go! 


***The following cars have a Low to Medium price range, so on-budget-millennials it is safe to keep scrolling down***

 

1. El Jagal, El Alpha-male, El ”heketne bas ma radet”

 

I know your type well, too well for my own good! (Flashbacks) 

You hit the gym regularly and wear that shirt that’s just tight enough to subtly show off your packs. You appreciate your sunglasses and leather jacket, your bros, and most importantly, the few days you take before replying to your DMs. A man of statement and sass, you need just the right type of car to communicate your flair: Flashy and Sporty. 

 

We recommend: INFINITI QX50 

 

 

 
2. El “Mesh mlah2(a)”, “B3atle reminder”, “Ma bkun b Lebnen”

You bleed caffeine, Google is your best friend, your phone bill costs as much as a semester at AUB. But that’s okay, you have places to be, people to meet, and our fragile economy depends on your big projects and dedication. Karrenn is here to help you fam, (and get a share of your profits in case you make it) so here’s the car we think will meet your needs: Economic and Practical.

 

We recommend: Suzuki Baleno 

 

 

3. El “Emta byeje l summer”, “La2 ma reht ski hayda solarium”, “Ah ma fi beer…

If you can spend your life waiting tables on some beach in Ibiza you probably would but there are bills that need to be paid so the Lebanese coast will have to do for now. You belong by the sea, your tan screams daydreams and moonlight walks, a good beer and a nice sunset can probably turn your day around. But alas, your tan, your most precious asset, isn’t cheap and requires constant maintenance (especially with the upcoming climate changes #Please_recycle) so we recommend getting a convertible or a car with a sunroof at least.

 

We Recommend: Mini Cooper 

 

4. The “Wild Child”.

You don’t mind driving for 6 hours for a unique ice cream scoop, you probably tried Yoga at some point and have a motivational background on your phone. You like to get out of your comfort zone, try new things, explore the world and discover new ideas. Even though your passions will take you far, you’ll probably still going to have a mid-life crisis by your 30s. But worry not, for your inner Steve Jobs will surely emerge and save the day (and hopefully ours too). Till then, please stay safe while taking on those wild roads.


We recommend: Seat Ibiza

 

Karrenn got you some tips that will improve your driving habits to enjoy your ride! Check them out

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